Purpose and goals are what guide humans through life. When asked, many people have neither an idea of what goals they have nor the purpose or meaning behind them. Unconsciously, we have many goals such as getting through the day without getting fired, making a cup of coffee properly, telling their spouse they love them, and not wrecking the car. Some would say that those examples are everyday, run-of-the-mill things so they don’t count. Don’t they? Just because you don’t try for them doesn’t de-value them as achievements, especially since NONE of them are 100% within your control. You could be have a power outage (no coffee), get laid-off, have someone run a stop sign to whack your Benz, or wake up next to your spouse who passed overnight because of a ruptured brain aneurysm. This… is Reality. Not trying to be negative, but if you can make it through these daily milestones gratefully and humbly, imagine what you could do with realized and intentional purpose.
Regarding martial arts, everyone has different goals. Some want to be the best competitor or black belt, learn self-defense, exercise, or any one of many benefits. But MOST beginning martial artists, despite the art or school, will drop out well within the first year. But why? Excuses will rain down about life is hard, my kids this, my job that, car trouble, appointments, not enough time or money, school, family, relationship, or my favorite which is when a major life event happens on a weekly basis. No. It’s not because of any of that! These are just MINOR, temporary obstacles and setbacks that people use as excuses to absolve themselves of responsibility or to not disappoint others. In my experience, many people I’ve eventually ran into again usually miss training in some capacity or regret leaving all together after looking back on it. But then a new excuse arise… it’s too late. Oh how you’re wrong! Simply, these individuals lack PURPOSE.
Personally, not to judge anyone else, I hold myself accountable for everything that happens to me, good or bad. Martial arts has taught me to always play the cards I’m dealt in the life of poker. I don’t always win, but I NEVER FOLD. So I love when people whine about how hard life is with 1st-world problems. It’s hard to find now and again, but I never leave home without an extremely tiny violin.
Having a goal, alone, is NOT ENOUGH. Purpose is everything. To illustrate my point, why do people drink coffee? For the taste or caffeine (#purpose)! Why do we go to work? To make money to buy coffee (#purpose)! Why eat healthy and exercise? For longevity. When diets or exercise programs fail, it’s not because it’s hard, it’s because the purpose faded. They have no more need to continue. Purpose defines what something “means” to us. If it has no meaning, it has no purpose. The typical job means going somewhere and doing something everyday that we dislike, potentially, to fulfill its purpose of income acquisition. If you were uber-wealthy, would you find purpose in your 9-5 anymore? Most would say no unless their 9-5 meant more to them than money. This is why retired young people don’t stay retired, they find work in something meaningful via a purpose. Wealthy people don’t have to work, they WANT to work for whatever their purpose happens to be, even if it is to “just stay busy” (#purpose). I hate getting up for work at 5:30am but I LOVE getting up at 5:30am on vacation to watch the sunrise or to relax. Till this day, I’d love to be a good musician instead of a mediocre amateur, but not enough to want to practice and do what it takes to achieve that status of skill & ability.
Motivational Speeches are Bull-Sugar (keepin’ it PG).
Out of all the advice you’ve ever received in your lifetime, how much did you actually heed and implement? Now how many times, do you think, you disregarded said advice and ended up kicking yourself later saying, “I shoulda listened…”? So when someone advises you to ask for that raise, quit your job, leave that girl/guy, buy this stock, do this, not that, etc., doubt tends to shadow the conversation, even if it comes from a credible source. We then proceed to do what we intended to do anyway, but maybe now with just a little bit more wisdom. There are plenty of accounts of domestic abuse (which comes in more forms than physical) and the 3rd party always tells them to “just leave”… but they don’t…. and then it gets worse… more drama and trauma… “I told you so”… and so on. Advice can be logical but unfortunately, logic is not always enough to create motivation, which is really the issue here. Motivation comes from purpose.
There are infinite motivational sayings and imagery. Just google it and you’ll know what I mean. But most, if not all, are contextual and / or circumstantial. Meaning what you see or hear is not relevant to your life in the moment, you will long forget or under-utilize the information. IF it hits you hard, however, whilst reading or hearing it, then it may have sparked something within you that is the light. There is so much wisdom and truth to these sayings. They should be recognized and remembered and utilized as such, but that’s not how it works. Chances are that they will ignite a spark but not light a fire.
Motivational speakers… bull-sugar. They tell how great their life is and how much tragedy they’ve endured to get there or how they’ve overcome great odds, blah blah blah. This is especially evident when they are making monetary gain based on the hopes and dreams of others. They sound “motivational” enough so you buy a ticket or a course. True motivational speakers do not motivate by showing the results and explaining how they did it because every one’s story is different and we all think it can’t happen or won’t work in our situation. Instead, they should challenge and force you, the listener, to engage with yourself to understand the purpose of your goal. In that purpose, you may find the light of the fire. That is what changes minds, hearts, and souls. Do you think Ebenezer Scrooge could’ve read a motivational poster at work or was told by someone to be a better person? He underwent a journey that night that gave his life meaning and purpose.
Turning on the Fire
This “fire” is what people refer to as “PASSION”.
Flipping the switch is the hardest thing and realistically, it cannot be done intentionally. No, you cannot GIVE yourself purpose just like you cannot force yourself to believe in anything. I find this to be the most intriguing part of the blog… belief. Using religion as the main example, regardless of your current belief system or lack thereof, you cannot FORCE someone to believe God exists just as someone cannot FORCE you to believe that God doesn’t exist. We could both state our cases with evidence till our eyes and ears bleed of blasphemy, but chances are that neither of us would succeed… at first.
I’ve referenced this before, but there is an interesting true story called the Case for Christ about Lee Strobel, an athiest journalist who, while trying to actively disprove God, became a believer himself. He didn’t have one conversation and changed his mind. Instead, he gathered the data and information necessary to come to a conclusion. But was it a logical, evidence based, conclusion? In my opinion, no. See, his daughter was choking one day while at a restaurant with Mom. A nurse eating at the establishment saved her. Afterward, she mentioned that God told her she “needed to be there”. Emotionally affected by the trauma of almost losing her child and the happenstance that saved her, she started attending church and eventually believing. Lee thought she was crazy and they argued so he wanted to prove her wrong. But why? In my opinion, he was not exposed to that traumatic event, therefore the “fire” never lit as it did for the wife. As he gathered historical evidence and stories, personal accounts both past and present, and traveled afar, he was still skeptical. Lee respected and loved his wife, despite her moving away from athiesm. He felt her belief and understood her circumstances and position. Between his personal journey, the personal connection with his wife and events on his child as well as the evidence, the switch flipped. He’s still a pastor to this day.
Conversely… there is another individual named Matt Dillahunty who created the “The Athiest Experience” and is the exact opposite of Lee Strobel. He was raised to believe in a Christian God, went to seminary to become a priest and everything. He’s read and studied the bible more than most. But after 30+ years of believing and preaching, he found the evidence to be contradictory and full of falsehoods. I’m unsure of his “personal” relationship with God at the time or if he underwent any personal trauma as some do, but at some point, the switch flipped for him. Now he discusses athiesm abroad with much more knowledge than the average believer. Would love to see them debate… hmmm?
Why does this matter? Purpose is everything. Just as Lee Strobel found purpose in believing and Matt Dillahunty found the lack of purpose in believing, but neither tried, it just evolved that way. If anything, both were resistant for some time. Purpose happens. Along with your new found purpose will be all the motivation you need and it will come from inside of you without constraint. This is self-motivation.
Sometimes you’re given purpose, sometimes you create the opportunity for purpose to develop.
Often, people use fear as a motivational tool, which is definitely understandable, but only when the fear is legitimate or of grave consequence to you. Because of this, even the slightest, inconsequential fear can keep us from succeeding. Self-motivation, however, usually overcomes this factor. I could tell you not to let the fear distract you, but as discussed before, are you going to actually do that? Only you can do that, from within, with the right purpose. I fear injury when I train but that doesn’t stop me. Instead, it allows me to find ways to accomplish my goals of learning while being safe.
Sometimes, overcoming fear becomes the actual purpose. My colleague and trainer, Kenny Bigbee Jr., said that he hates being scared and a lot of things scare him. So he does the things he fears most and attacks his fears head on. One example was when he was going to through Navy SEAL training. His purpose was to become a Navy SEAL. His fear was the water and cold. While many people quit the SEAL training program due to the cold and water trainings, his purpose overruled his fears and he persevered to become the 32nd African-American US Navy SEAL.
Finding Purpose
Have a goal? Great! Now what is the purpose of attaining this goal? What would it mean TO YOU if you didn’t achieve this goal?
Read that again (once).
That last one tells all. It will instinctively tell you what that goal truly means to you. If you would feel like crap, less of a person, or overall disappointed with yourself, that’s your soul telling you to step up.
Realizing the purpose and meaning of a goal will allow opportunity for that switch to click. Notice I’m not saying purpose will conquer all, but it’s the motivational tool that aids you. Once the light of the fire shines, you will be overrun with emotion, energy, and enthusiasm. With this power, you will have much more stamina and perseverance to rule over the doubts, fears, and obstacles. Now this does not mean you will not be challenged and tried. Having purpose gives you the confidence and mental tenacity to pursue what was previously thought to be unrealistically attainable.
My Purpose (as an example)
Your Purpose in Martial Arts is yours alone. My purpose is mine and likely will not become yours.
I’ve always enjoyed martial arts movies and play-fighting with my friends, imaginary or otherwise, as a child. I was in a few karate programs growing up but nothing long-term. When I was in college, I became more interested in Steven Seagal’s Aikido and wanted to learn it. I Thought it would be cool. But it had no meaning yet so I never looked for a school or anything. Shortly after turning 20 years old and getting my only tattoo, I’m unsure of the stimuli that switched on my “fire” but something got me to look up schools. Although two Aikido schools were indicated near me, I had trouble finding the first one (thankfully, in retrospect). I sat in on a class and signed-up upon visiting the other dojo. I did not try the class. I did not vet the instructor. I didn’t even know what Aikido was! I had no self-defense goals. I had no childhood trauma that contributed to me wanting to learn what would turn out to be my greatest decision ever. I didn’t even care about rank or becoming a black belt. None of it. Just wanted to start and go from there.
Want to know my ONLY purpose of learning Aikido? Because Steven Seagal did it and I wanted to be just like him. Boom. Done. Simple. Now, my purpose(s) have evolved & changed over the years, but nonetheless, that’s all I needed for some time. I never thought twice about doing martial arts despite full-time school, part-time job, horrible first spouse experience, hard times, easy times, dating, new spouse, etc. Martial arts, for me, became a priority in life. Not in the, “I need this to live” or “I will sacrifice my first-born to pay for classes” way, but I always made the time and effort to train for 3-4 days per week, private lessons, & teaching. And why? Purpose. Till this day, 20 years later, I have purpose. Two examples of my purpose today is teaching and helping others benefit the same as I did from the arts as well as learning MORE to improve my own skillsets across the board.
Your Purpose (for training or anything else)
What is your purpose for training?
How long will your purpose last or will it fade? Only time will tell and that’s OK.
Circumstances and priorities can’t change your purpose, but they can affect your ability to achieve it. If your martial arts training is important to you and has meaning, you’ll find the time, energy, money, and capability to do it.
More Than Just Showing Up – Purposeful Training in Martial Arts
There is a difference between being present at the dojo and BEING PRESENT at the dojo. So far we’ve talked about the philosophical “purpose”. Now we will briefly discuss purpose in regards to the economy of movement.
Purposely get up, get to the dojo, get dressed, and get on the mat. Training regularly is key to fulfilling your purpose. However often you train only contributes to how much you can physically practice. This is obviously necessary because I could tell you how to drive a manual transmission car but you have to get in the driver’s seat and feel the clutch-brake-gear shift dynamic. This is not advice to get you to the dojo, it’s explanation of the benefits of getting to the dojo. You may also be someone’s favorite training partner, just saying.
The famous words of the wise one once known only as Yoda, once said, “Do or do not, there is no try…mhmmmm”. (You totally just voiced Yoda, bravo).
Move with Purpose
A long time ago, a friend of mine once said to another student who was getting dressed very slowly in the dressing room, “come on, move with purpose”. Man that stuck with me. YES, during many things, do them with purpose. During training, doing the techniques or maneuvers merely just to do them will achieve NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH. ZIPPO. ZERO. The purpose of martial arts is to teach you how to move, position, and gain an advantage. Being sloppy or lazy is not that. It’s better to be overzealous in your training than too lazy though both have safety flaws! Perform your practice with purpose! Pretend it’s a real scenario, act as though there is resistance even if none. Do not “try” the technique or exercise, do them. If unsure how or confused, simply ask.
“Every movement you do, every step you take, every kuzushi you break… it will be teaching you”
Sting (prolific songwriter / [martial] artist / and member of the Police)
Everything we do as martial artists, especially things instructors repeat, are critical if not fundamental during practice. Take note of those things and take control of your training by purposely doing what is requested because merely going through the motions yields little to no benefit.
